Stop Asking for Favors. Start Being One.

Why the best networking strategy may be the opposite of what you've been taught.

Most professionals know that networking is an important part of finding a job. Yet when the time comes to reach out to someone, many suddenly discover an urgent need to update their LinkedIn profile, reorganize their résumé, or do just about anything else.

I've spent 25 years helping people navigate job searches and career changes, and I've seen this pattern repeatedly. People who are confident, accomplished, and perfectly comfortable dealing with customers, executives, and colleagues become remarkably uncomfortable asking an old acquaintance for fifteen minutes of their time.

It isn't difficult to understand why. Most professionals have spent years developing a reputation for being capable and self-sufficient. Now they're supposed to contact people they haven't spoken with in ages and ask whether they know of anyone who might hire them. That can feel needy, particularly when they've already made similar requests and received little more than polite encouragement.

The problem isn't necessarily that these people are bad at networking. It's that the conventional approach makes almost everyone uncomfortable.

Why Asking for Job Leads Usually Falls Short

Consider the typical networking request: "I'm looking for a new position in operations management. Please let me know if you hear of anything."

The recipient may genuinely want to help. But what exactly are we asking them to do?

They need to know of an available position, in the right field, at the appropriate level, in a suitable location, at approximately the right time. And they need to remember us when they hear about it.

That's a fairly tall order for someone who has a job and a life of their own.

The usual response is something like, "I'll certainly keep my ears open." Sometimes they do. More often, nothing comes of it, and the job seeker is left wondering whether to follow up or risk becoming a nuisance.

The problem is that this approach asks someone to recognize a job opening. A more effective approach helps them recognize a need.

Start With the Problem, Not the Job Opening

Employers don't hire people because they enjoy adding names to the payroll. They hire because something needs to be accomplished, improved, repaired, expanded, or maintained.

A customer retention problem may require stronger account management. A company entering a new market may need someone who understands how to develop partnerships. A business struggling with operational inefficiencies may need someone who has solved similar problems elsewhere.

Sometimes the employer has already recognized the need and begun looking for someone. Sometimes the problem exists but nobody has started the hiring process. And sometimes the organization hasn't even considered that bringing in someone with a particular set of skills could solve a problem it has learned to live with.

The hidden job market includes all three situations, not just existing positions that haven't been advertised.

The opportunity is to become known to people who are likely to recognize where your demonstrated skills could create value, whether or not a job currently exists. Instead of asking someone to keep an eye out for openings, you help them understand the problems you're particularly good at solving and the circumstances in which an organization might need those capabilities.

Now the person doesn't have to remember your preferred job title. They only need to recognize a problem.

And when they do, introducing you may be an opportunity to help a colleague, customer, or friend solve that problem rather than simply doing you a favor.

Think Beyond Your Next Job

Professional relationships shouldn't become relevant only when we're unemployed or unhappy at work. Most professionals do a reasonable job of managing their current responsibilities. Far fewer invest comparable effort in maintaining their career options.

Yet the market's need for our skills changes continually. Companies expand into new areas, technologies change how work gets done, and capabilities that were once highly valued become less important. Maintaining our skills and staying connected with knowledgeable people helps us recognize those changes before they become a problem.

A contact who has no reason to introduce you today may have an excellent reason three months from now. Perhaps a company is planning a January expansion, a colleague is struggling with a new responsibility, or a customer has developed a problem that your skills could help solve. When that happens, you want someone to remember what you can do.

And you don't necessarily have to be looking for a job. Employers regularly recruit professionals who aren't actively searching, often through their existing connections and referrals. Some of the best career opportunities come to people who have maintained their skills and relationships even when they were perfectly happy in their current positions.

That's one of the greatest benefits of being market ready. You aren't dependent on starting from scratch every time you want or need to make a change. You've already done much of the work required to keep your options open.

The goal isn't to become more comfortable asking for favors. It's to become the favor someone is pleased to do for somebody else.